Explore our practical steps to overcome the “us” vs “them” mentality in the workplace by cultivating stakeholder empathy across your team.
As a manager or team leader, you know that leading a team can be challenging. One issue that frequently arises is how to balance the needs of your team with those of the stakeholders outside it. These stakeholders might be senior management, customers, or even external partners who rely on your team’s performance. While empathy is commonly seen as crucial within a team, there’s often an overlooked dynamic when it comes to stakeholders. How do you empathise with them in a way that strengthens both team cohesion and stakeholder relationships?
The Stakeholder Relationship Challenge: The “Us” vs “Them” Mentality
It’s an issue many managers and leaders face: the ‘us’ vs ‘them’ divide. Your team might feel protective of each other, with a shared understanding and connection. However, when external stakeholders make demands, it’s easy for your team to feel misunderstood, put under pressure, or unappreciated. This often triggers an emotional response: a negative attitude towards stakeholders and a protective instinct towards the team. Over time, this dynamic can cause friction, poor communication, and even resentment.
As a leader, you might recognise the importance of empathy in your team, but do you ever consider empathy for the stakeholders? Can your team empathise with those outside their direct circle, or do they view them as antagonistic forces? This challenge is crucial because a lack of stakeholder empathy can hinder collaboration, damage relationships, and limit the success of your team’s initiatives.
The Goal: Building Empathy for Everyone Involved
So, how do you change this dynamic? The key is to cultivate empathy not just within the team, but also for those stakeholders. Empathy isn’t just about understanding others’ feelings – it’s about genuinely appreciating their perspective and addressing their concerns. It’s about moving beyond the “us” and “them” mentality to create a unified, outward-facing team that understands the challenges stakeholders face.
The goal is simple: balance empathy for your team with empathy for external stakeholders, ensuring that your team’s internal dynamics don’t hinder external relationships. The result will be stronger team cohesion, more effective communication, and more collaborative working relationships with stakeholders.
The Practice: The Empty Chair Technique
How do you cultivate stakeholder empathy in a practical, meaningful way? One powerful tool that can help is the “empty chair” technique, a simple yet effective exercise that forces the team to think outside their immediate circle.
Here’s how you can use the technique:
1. The Set-Up
In your next team meeting, place an empty chair in the room and assign a specific stakeholder to that chair. This could be a senior executive, a customer, or any external party whose needs and concerns are critical to your team’s success.
2. Feel the Presence
Even though the stakeholder isn’t physically present, the chair will create an invisible presence in the room. Encourage your team to notice how this presence feels. Do they feel tension? Frustration? Distance? Compassion? Ask the team to share their thoughts and reactions. It’s important to bring these emotions to the surface.
3. Role Play
Invite someone in your team to sit in the empty chair and take on the role of the stakeholder. The person sitting in the chair should voice the concerns, feelings, and perspectives of the stakeholder. For instance, if you’re working with a customer, they might voice frustrations about unmet expectations or challenges they face.
4. Shift the Focus
To avoid reinforcing the “us” vs “them” mentality, frame the discussion with questions that put the focus squarely on the stakeholder’s perspective. Rather than asking, “What do you think of us?” or “How can we improve for you?” ask questions like:
- “What’s your biggest challenge right now?”
- “What are your primary concerns about our team’s work?”
- “Who are your most important stakeholders and what do they expect from you?”
By exploring these questions, you’re not just gaining an understanding of the stakeholder’s point of view – you’re encouraging empathy for the complexities and pressures they may be facing.
5. Assess Empathy
After the role-play, reflect with your team: how well did they empathise with the stakeholder? Were they able to see beyond their own frustrations or biases? Did they feel a sense of understanding for the stakeholder’s situation, or did they continue to see the relationship as adversarial?
6. Act on the Insights
The final part of the exercise is crucial. Take the insights gained from the exercise and apply them in the real world. Arrange a meeting with the stakeholder and put the newly honed empathy skills into practice. Use greater listening, summarising, and asking open-ended questions to gain a deeper understanding of their needs and concerns.
The Power of Empathy: Transforming Stakeholder Relationships
When your team develops stronger empathy for external stakeholders, the benefits are manifold. You’ll likely see:
- Improved Stakeholder Relationships
A team that understands and listens to the needs of stakeholders will build stronger, more collaborative relationships. This leads to better communication, increased trust, and more effective problem-solving.
- Greater Team Cohesion
When a team empathises with each other and with external stakeholders, there’s a stronger sense of shared purpose. This can reduce internal conflicts, improve collaboration, and ensure everyone is working towards the same goals.
- A More Positive Workplace Culture
Empathy can change the culture of your team. By actively practicing empathy towards stakeholders, your team can develop a more open, collaborative, and positive culture that values different perspectives and works towards solutions rather than division.
- Better Decision-Making
When your team sees the bigger picture and understands the pressures that stakeholders face, they’ll make more informed and thoughtful decisions. This can improve your team’s overall performance and help drive better outcomes for the business.
Going Beyond the Empty Chair
The empty chair technique is just the start. To fully integrate stakeholder empathy into your team’s dynamics, you need to consistently practice it and encourage your team to do the same. Consider holding regular reflection sessions where you assess how well you’ve empathised with both internal and external stakeholders. Provide feedback and guidance on how to improve.
Also, encourage your team to have conversations with stakeholders outside the formal meetings. Open up lines of communication and invite stakeholders to share their concerns, challenges, and expectations. The more your team can engage with external stakeholders directly, the more they’ll begin to empathise with them naturally.
Conclusion: Empathy as a Leadership Skill
As a manager, team leader, or line manager, cultivating empathy for both your team and your stakeholders is crucial for building strong relationships, improving team performance, and fostering a positive organisational culture. The empty chair technique is a great starting point for addressing the “us” vs “them” mentality and fostering greater empathy.
By integrating empathy into your leadership style and encouraging your team to adopt the same mindset, you can transform how your team interacts with both each other and external stakeholders. This shift in perspective will not only improve the dynamics within your team but will also lead to more collaborative and productive relationships with those outside it.
